The Calm
by DontStopBealeiving
Summary: I'd had my doubts about my calm ever coming. After my mom died I'd thought that was it. There was nothing more but the churning open sea.
1. Thousandth Crane

My mother used to take me to the ocean. We'd plan weeks in advance, and take the hour long car ride to the shores. She'd roll out the towels in the sand, plant an umbrella in the ground, and lay down with her goofy sunglasses. We'd talk about _everything_. We'd point out the clouds and think of what they looked like. It was the happiest I'd ever been.

The wind nipped at the end of my nose as I walked down the pier. I pulled my jacket tighter around me.

_"Mommy look at __**that**__ cloud! It looks like a ladybug!" A six year old me laughed and pointed up at the sky. "Yeah, Bug. I see." She ruffled my hair and gave me that smile. That smile I only saw while we were at the beach. I looked up at her, confused. "Bug. Your new nickname." I squeezed her hand._

I traced the small ladybug tattoo on my wrist, smiling fondly at the memory. I got it so that I'd never forget, yet here I was, searching for memories of her. I perched on the rocks at the tip of the pier and leaned back, resting on my palms. This was our favorite place to sit.

_I watched in amazement as the waves crashed onto the rocks. I'd never seen the water that powerful before. The normally glassy surface was a churning pit of foam. Mom and I were both silent, taking in the destructively beautiful scene before us. "Is it going to be like this forever?" I was scared. She chuckled at me and shook her head. "No Bug, the calm will come again," she said over the roar of the waves. _

Similar to that day, the waves were angrily colliding with the pier. I lowered myself down towards the water as close as I could get without being knocked over by it.

_The day was perfectly clear, not a cloud in the sky. Mom brought out a stack of small square papers. "They say if you fold a thousand paper cranes, you can have any wish you want," she said. The cancer was gradually getting worse. It was a mutual understanding on what that one wish would be. We sat on the beach, on that perfect day, folding paper cranes until the sun set. _

I cradled the small paper crane in my hands.

_I took my place beside her hospital bed. I'd left my tenth grade assessment to come visit her. She didn't have very much time left. I entwined my fingers with my mom's as she finally opened her eyes and noticed me. "Hey, Bug." She smiled at me. "Hi, Mom. Guess what? Nine hundred eighty two down. We're so close to one thousand." She smiled even more, despite her deteriorating condition. _

_"Do you remember when we went to the ocean that one day? The waves were monstrous! You were scared, Bug. You were used to the calm." I nodded, wondering why she was bringing this up. "Life is like the ocean. The glassy surface can crack and ripple and turn destructive really quickly. But, there's always a calm after the storm." She squeezed my hand tighter. "I promise you, everything will be okay even if I go. The calm will come."  
She passed away that night._

Her words stuck with me. She said the calm would come. My storm was still raging. I blamed myself. Maybe if I'd finished those thousand back then, she'd still be here. I laughed at how unrealistic that theory was.

I lowered the paper crane down into the water, getting drenched by the splashing waves. "Here's the one thousandth crane, Mom." My work here was done. I tried to pull myself back up to the top of the pier to no avail. This _would_ happen to me. Of course. I'd eventually given up, crossing my arms, getting more drenched by the second.

A loud voiced boomed over the waves. "What the hell are you doing down there?!" I looked up to the owner of the voice. A girl stood there, looking down at me with concern evident in her eyes. She had brown hair and was fairly short.

I laughed sheepishly. "I kind of got stuck." Not entirely a lie...

"Well you shouldn't have been there in the first place! That shit's dangerous, especially with waves like this!" She extended a hand as I realized how dangerous my position really was. I could easily be pulled into the water. The rocks were really slippery too. I took her hand and she helped me up. Despite being so small, she was actually pretty strong.

She wrapped a towel around me. "I'm Beca," she said. I finally got a good look at my rescuer. She couldn't have been taller than 5'2" and had deep blue eyes with a bit of grey to them.

"Chloe," I said with a smile. "Thanks for helping me out." I shivered. I was drenched and my clothes were incredibly baggy and cold.

"Well I couldn't just let you die! That would definitely ride on my conscience... You look freezing. I have some extra clothes in my car if you'd like to borrow them." I'm such an idiot. I'd come totally unprepared! I lived an hour away and didn't even bring a change of clothes! On top of that, I'd walked!

"Are you sure? I mean... I can't guarantee you'll get them back... We'll probably never even meet again." _If she's lucky..._ Beca glared at me.

"Of course we'll meet again! You're an idiot! I just _saved_ you. The least you could give me is a coffee date!" She promptly turned, motioning for me to follow. When we got to her car she handed me a baggy sweatshirt and some shorts. "Change," she said. She turned around and covered her eyes and I changed. "Now, where's _your_ car?" Uh oh...

"I... kind of walked here..." She raised an eyebrow.  
"Oh? You live close to the beach?" I shook my head.  
"I actually live like... an hour away. Williamsville..." She slapped her forehead.  
"Idiot! Lucky for you, I live right near there. Get in!" I hardly even knew this girl. She intrigued me. I _wanted_ to get to know her. I hopped in her car and sat through the most awkward car ride ever. Before I got out, Beca held out her hand. "Gimme your phone." Again, I did as I was told and watched as she typed her number in and sent a text to herself. "There, in case you weren't going to text me, I can text you!" She smirked and gave me my phone back.

"Thanks for everything," I said before walking up the steps to my house. I'd made a new friend...

I'd had my doubts about my calm ever coming. After my mom died I'd thought that was it. There was nothing more but the churning open sea. When I'd set that thousandth crane in the water, I wished for the calm. I could tell, without a doubt in my mind, _the calm was rolling in..._


	2. Understanding

_**Trigger warning... mentions of self harm...**_

I sat in a booth at Starbucks waiting for the short brunette to arrive, my fingers drumming on the table. This was absolutely crazy. Maybe she wasn't even going to show up. Maybe it was for her own good. Of course as soon as that thought formed in my mind she slid into the booth across from me.

"Sorry I'm late! Traffic was crazy!" I couldn't help but smile. Beca was out of breath. So she didn't stiff me after all. "How long were you waiting?" I bit my lip... I'd been waiting for at least forty-five minutes, but of course she wouldn't ever find that out.

"Not long," I said rather unconvincingly. Beca gave a small _mhm_ before asking me for my coffee order. "Uhm... no thank you." She shook her head and went up in line to order her own coffee.

_"Mommy, why do adults drink coffee? It's icky!" My mom scooped me up in her arms. "Why do little Bugs ask so many questions?" She tickled me, rendering me unable to answer her._

Beca slid back into the booth with her steaming cup of coffee. "What's got _you_ all smiley?" She sipped the brown liquid.

"Just... a memory." I shrugged. Beca may have been the most adorable person I'd ever seen. She looked like a little kid as she sipped from her cup, and her height didn't help either. I mean, I considered myself short... but she was like a dwarf!

"So," she began. "You owe me an explanation. Why were you down so close to the water when we met? Those waves were crazy. You could have slipped on a rock and died!" Of course she wouldn't just let that whole thing go. Maybe I _wanted_ to slip on a rock and die... Though I did owe the person that pretty much saved my life an explanation...

"Can we not talk about this here?" She nodded. "Great. We can go to the park and sit on a bench or something... That'll be more private." Beca quickly finished her drink and we grabbed our jackets. The park was only a couple minutes away.

We made our way to a familiar spot. It was the only place I ever came to when I went to the park... "So?" I sighed. There was no way out of this.

_Mom rolled out the blanket on the ground. "Surprise, Bug! Happy birthday!" She uncovered my eyes. I took in the scene around me. Butterflies were everywhere and the sunlight shimmered on the surface of the pond. It was almost as magical as the beach. _

I told her everything, though I'm not sure why. She just seemed like an understanding person... I told her about my nickname, my mom and the cranes and that my mother passed away before we reached one thousand. I told her about the tattoo I'd gotten in memory of my mom.

Beca grasped my hand in hers. "Can I see it?" I raised an eyebrow. "Your tattoo. I want to see it." Showing her the tattoo would also involve exposing other things I didn't want her to see...

"Chloe IDon'tKnowYourMiddleName Beale! Let. Me. See." I shook my head. She did puppy dog eyes. I still refused to let her see. Something must have clicked. I wouldn't show her my wrist. Beca's not stupid.

Her facial expression softened. Sympathy? Understanding? I couldn't tell. "Chlo, c'mon... Lemme see." I had a feeling she no longer wanted to see the tattoo, but rather the rest of my wrist.

I finally gave in and rolled up my sleeve. My breath hitched as Beca's fingers gingerly traced the tattoo, and then one of the many scars that littered my wrist. I whimpered. She appeared to be at a loss for words. I would be too if I was her. It wasn't exactly a pretty sight... There were at least twenty of the pale white lines.

"Chloe... I... I don't understand..." I opened my mouth to speak, but she immediately cut (great choice of words there) me off. "No. Chlo... I've only known you for like... two days... but I feel like I know you so well already. You're an amazing person... Why would you do this to yourself?" She tightened her hold on my wrist.

"It was really hard for me after my mother left me. I was all alone. I stopped feeling all together... I needed to know that I could still feel things... anything at all." Beca pulled my sleeve down. She tucked my hair behind my ear and looked me directly in the eyes.

"You know you're not alone now, right? I'm here." That was all that it took to send me over the emotional cliff I'd been teetering on the edge of. I nodded through my tears and replied with a simple "yes." I clung to her like my life depended on it and she rubbed my back while I cried.

_Mom slowly rocked me back and forth while I cried. "Bug, shhh it's okay. I've got you." I sniffled. "I don't want to be alone, momma." She chuckled. "You're not alone, Bug. You'll never be alone."_

I felt so safe with Beca. We sat in the park for hours. For the first time in years, I felt like I wasn't alone. The storm that had been raging for so long suddenly ceased and the sun came out to shine again.


	3. You're Beautiful, It's True

It had been a month since the beach incident, which is what Beca and I have dubbed it. The Beach Incident. Surprisingly, she hadn't bolted yet. _Yet._ We'd actually gotten to be pretty close. We met up a couple days a week, had movie nights... which she hated. And she'd even spent the night a couple times. (Aubrey wasn't too happy about that... 'Our apartment is small enough! We don't need more people here!' Blah blah blah...)

However, the thought gnawed at the back of my mind. _She can't stay forever. She'll leave you eventually._ Whenever we were together, it was so easy to forget. She seemed like she'd stay forever, and I'd be just fine with that.

She never brought up the park. She never brought up what happened, and she never brought up my scars. I generally kept them hidden and didn't like talking about it.

I sighed as I looked at my phone.

_9:32 am  
From: Beca  
Heyyyyy let's go to the beach! :)_

In all honesty, I didn't want to. The memories that going there triggered were hard to handle sometimes. But Beca wanted to go... And it was almost impossible for me to tell her no. I got up out of bed.

_9:34 am  
To: Beca  
What time and what should I bring?_

The reply came almost instantaneously.

_9:34 am  
From: Beca  
I'll be at your apt. in 15 minutes. ;) I knew you would say yes. Bring a towel and a bathing suit obviously! We're going 2 the beach!_

I got ready as quickly as possible. I'm pretty sure I broke a record! I was hesitant on wearing a bathing suit. It made it incredibly difficult to hide my scars. Regardless, I slipped one on under my clothes and waited out front for Beca to arrive. I didn't have to wait long. She pulled up, I got in her car, and we were on our merry way.

_"I spy with my little eye... something... BLUE!" Mom laughed as we drove along. "Is it... The sky?" I gasped. "Mom that's no fair! You're like a psychic!" She reached over and ruffled my hair. "How about this one then, Bug. I spy with my little eye... Something small. Something beautiful. Something pure of heart." I was concentrating so hard, mulling her description over in my mind. "I give up," I pouted. She chuckled. "It's you, Bug."_

We got out of the car and stretched as the gentle breeze carried the smell of salt through the air. Beca was grinning from ear to ear. "What?" I asked.

She winked at me. "I was just thinking about how I was going to get to see you in a bikini." I choked and slapped her arm. "Take it easy there slugger! I was joking!" I rolled my eyes and took off towards the sand. She was quick to follow. We laid out our towels on the beach and sat down.

"Chlo, it's hot as hell. You have a bikini on under that, so show off your smokin' hot bod." She winked and tugged at my sweatshirt. I shook my head. I thought I'd be able to 'show off my smokin' hot bod,' however I clearly thought wrong. Sure, it was hot out. But I didn't want to ruin the mood. Beca tugged on my sweatshirt again. Her voice softened. "Chlo, it's just me and you here. You're fine."

I opened my mouth to protest but nothing came out. She was right, like usual. I pulled off my shirt and tossed it to the side. I felt incredibly exposed, even though it _was_ just Beca and me. She gently took my hand and kissed my wrist. The gesture surprised me.

"See? Everything is fine. You're beautiful... Inside and out." I rubbed the spot where her lips had touched. There are moments that you wish would last forever. This was one of those moments.

_"Me, momma? I'm beautiful and pure of heart?" She nodded. "Yes, Bug. You are." We drove on in silence. I pondered what she meant. Beautiful... Pure of heart. My heart was pure? That meant the world to me. _

I smiled. "Coming from the, I quote, 'Queen of Sexiness?' Aw gee golly. It means a lot." We both burst into laughter.

"Shut it Beale! I was drunk!" I snorted and rolled my eyes. "Don't make me remind you what _you_ said!"

I mocked concern. "Oh no! _Anything _but that!" Beca was beautiful, in the way she laughed. Most people have really annoying laughs. They usually look like dying seals. But not Beca.

"Wait... Chlo..." Beca stopped laughing and leaned over. I raised an eyebrow.

She tackled me into the sand and started tickling me. I flailed around, trying to escape but it didn't work. "Stop!" I choked out between laughs. (I bet I looked like a dying seal...) Eventually she agreed, and stopped her relentless attack. We laid there out of breath.

Beca and I spent the rest of the day on the beach. We ate lunch, swam a little, Beca got sunburned, and we watched the sun set. I was doubtful at first that I would have fun. Saying I had fun would be an understatement. I had an amazing time. In fact, I was sad to leave.

Beca gave me hope. Maybe not _everyone_ would leave. Some people had to stay. Before Beca, I was broken. A storm raged inside me and it threatened to never die down. And then literally, through the gales, she appeared and saved me. She did this in more ways than one. She brought upon the calm.


	4. Down and Out

_6 months after The Beach Incident_

Aubrey sat down on the bed next to me. The curtains were closed, as they had been for days now. I was laying under a mountain of blankets. Eyes closed, I hardly acknowledged Aubrey's presence.

"Chlo," she began gently. "C'mon hon, get up." I grunted a response, dismissing her. "I'm not leaving 'til you talk to me. This isn't healthy." Maybe if I refused enough, she'd get bored and go away...

"No Aubrey. Leave me alone." My voice was hoarse from not being used for days. Aubrey got up off the bed and made her way over to the window.

"I'm going to open the curtains now, Bug." I didn't have the energy to stop her. I groaned as the sunlight poured into my room. I buried myself further under the blankets. Aubrey sat back down.

She reached for my hand, which I quickly snatched away. I turned so that my back was facing her. She'd give up eventually, right? Everyone does...

"As I said, I'm not leaving until you talk. I know the anniversary of your mother's death is coming up... But do you think this is what she would have wanted, Chlo? I don't think so. I think she would've wanted you to be happy." That hit home. I was having difficulty holding back the tears that threatened to fall. _Just go away, Aubrey... Leave me be... _

I sniffled. "Close the curtains," I said. The light was irritating to say the least. Aubrey sighed and shook her head, refusing. _Ugh..._ I glared at her until she closed them.

"C'mon Bug, this is ridiculous." She didn't know the half of it. I wanted nothing more than to be out of this bed, yet I couldn't. I just couldn't get up. Maybe it was because I felt safe? I don't know...

"Chlo..." She put a hand on my back. She was relentless. I wasn't going to win this one. I rolled over so that I was facing her and she frowned. I must have looked bad... My hair was a mess, there were tear stains on my face... probably bags under my eyes. Not a pretty sight. "You look..." She trailed off.

"Awful?" I choked out.

She gave a sad smile. "Yeah, you've definitely looked better. Let's get you in the shower and clean clothes okay?" I nodded and she pulled me out of bed and aided me in standing. I was dizzy from the effort. "Chloe, have you eaten anything?" I shook my head at that. "In how long?"

"I... have no idea... " It'd been a while. I knew that. Aubrey practically carried me to the bathroom.

"Okay Chlo, you take a shower. If you need help with anything let me know. I'll be in the kitchen making you a protein shake or something..." I smiled. She just wouldn't give up. That's Aubrey for you. She left me in the bathroom.

Getting undressed was hard. Getting in the shower was hard. Standing was hard. I just wanted to go back to bed... but Aubrey was trying so, so hard. So I finished my shower, I got dressed, and I slunk down onto the floor in the kitchen waiting for her to finish making the protein shake.

She knelt down next to me. "Do you want to stay down here, or do you want to go to the couch?" Was that even a question? I nodded my head towards the couch and she helped me get to it. I felt so weak and helpless... She set the protein shake on the coffee table and sat down next to me.

Aubrey cleared her throat. "I know this is hard for you, Bug. It's hard for you every year. It's okay to be upset, but you can't keep shutting down. There has to be some other way to deal with it. Please Chlo, it hurts to see you like this." She took my hand in hers and was squeezing tightly.

"I'm sorry, Bree." I squeezed back. "It's just... every year at this time, I'm reminded that everyone leaves. They all go eventually. It's hard." Aubrey hugged me.

"I'm here Bug, and I'm not going anywhere. I promise. And what about Beca? She seems like she's going to stick around too." I smiled fondly at the mention of Beca. I had at least twenty missed texts from her. Bree pulled away and handed me the protein shake. I slowly sipped it.

I was feeling a lot better. I was clean, and something was finally in my stomach. I was actually really glad Aubrey didn't give up on me, because I probably would not have gotten out of bed for a long while.

"Hey Chlo... One last thing..." Aubrey rubbed the back of her head. I raised an eyebrow. "You haven't cut, have you?" I set the shake down and pulled up my sleeves revealing my wrists. Cut free. Aubrey smiled. I did too. "Good."

Aubrey and I sat around and watched Nemo over and over again for the rest of the day. I hoped she knew how grateful I was. For serious, I would be so lost without her. I love her so much, she'd been there for me through a lot.

And then there was Beca. The new addition to my life. I opened my phone to check all the messages she'd sent me.

_Hey Red, I miss you. xoxo_

_You alright? _

_Do you need me to come over?_

_Love you! xxoo_

I smiled as I typed my response.

_Miss you too Becs. I'm alright. We'll hang out soon, I promise. :) _

The calm was nice.

**A/N: Reviews are always nice. :) love you awesome nerds and thanks for sticking with this so far!**


	5. Here to Stay

Beca and I did in fact hang out soon. Later that night she was pounding on the door. Still feeling incredibly weak, I had Aubrey open it for her. While Aubrey knew how important Beca was to me, the two of them bickered _a lot._ It was friendly banter, I suppose.

They were almost like an old married couple actually, and they argued over the most trivial things.

Aubrey cleared her throat. "Beca. Why are you pounding on our door this late at night like some crazy person?" She was really intimidating. Like, no one would ever rob our house because the very sight of her would scare anyone away. Aubrey had the best death glare ever!

Beca simply rolled her eyes, which caused Aubrey to huff. "Oh please Posen, I'm here to see Chloe. I haven't seen her for a while! I miss her!" She winked, causing Aubrey to huff even more.

I probably still looked like Hell. I mean, it would take at least a day or two for me to get back to normal. I still had bags under my eyes and was extremely exhausted from not eating.

Aubrey stuck out her bottom lip. "Aw Mitchell, I thought you were here to see me for once!" They both laughed, the tension being broken. "Oh well. Come on in. Chloe and I were just watching _Finding Nemo_ for the thousandth time." Beca kicked off her shoes and seated herself next to me on the couch.

_The movie was coming to a close. Mom was holding me in her lap, rocking back and forth. She was humming a lullaby. "Go to sleep, Bug." I sighed with contempt. "And remember, I'd cross an entire ocean for you."_

"Hey there Chlobear!" She smiled brightly and hugged me. She smelled like fresh air, which is something that hadn't filled my senses for a while. I soaked in the hug and melted at her touch.

"Hi, Becs." I returned the smile. She scrunched her eyebrows up.

"Chlo, you don't look so good..." She finally took note of my worn down appearance.

"Gee, you sure know how to make a girl feel good about herself. Yeah, it's been a rough couple of days. I'm fine now though." She looked at me questioningly. She didn't press me for details, but I gave them to her. "It's the anniversary of my mother's death." Beca was silent for a moment. Her facial expression was difficult to read.

Aubrey was leaning against the doorframe, arms crossed, lips pursed. We were both waiting for Beca's response.

"Why the hell didn't you tell me?" Aubrey straightened, her death glare growing as Beca continued. "I'm here for you, you dumbass. I would have come over to help you. But no, you closed yourself off. Trust me, I'm the fucking queen of closing yourself off! You should have texted me back or called me or something! I even asked you if you wanted me to come over!" I could see tears forming in her eyes. She was getting really worked up over this... Aubrey relaxed.

"Bec-" I began, but was immediately cut off.

"Did you do anything, Chlo?" I shook my head. "Show me." So I rolled up my sleeves. She let out a sigh of relief and her expression softened. "I love you, Chloe." She pulled me into a hug so tight I could hardly breathe. Aubrey smiled and slipped out of the room, allowing us to have our moment.

"I love you too, Beca," I said quietly. She pulled back as her deep blue eyes bore into my soul.

"Promise me you won't do this again, Chlo. I care too much about you to be left in the dark like this... I'm here for you. I've been here since that day on the rocks. And... I promise you, I'm here to stay." I'd never seen her like this before. The usually snarky and incredibly sarcastic Beca was gone, and replaced by _this._ She was showing how she really felt.

I couldn't help but smile. "I promise, Becs." She smiled too.

_"'If there comes a time when we can't be together, keep me in your heart, I'll stay there forever...'" Mom closed the book and placed a kiss on my cheek. "Your heart, Bug. Keep me there. I'll never leave."_

"Oh and... one more thing..." She blushed a furious shade of red. "When I said I loved you, I meant it." Before I had the chance to form a response, she captured my lips with hers. I leaned into the kiss as she wrapped her arms around my neck.

Anything else going on around me was forgotten. I was in this moment. I was with Beca. We were kissing. This moment was all that mattered. It was the happiest I'd felt for as long as I could remember.

The moment ended all too soon. Aubrey, who had apparently returned, coughed. "Sorry to interrupt... But... uhm... " She was a brighter red than Beca, which seemed impossible. Clearly not. I looked back and forth between the two of them. "Well it's about time! God!" Aubrey laughed and Beca and I joined in.

"I'm going to assume you're staying the night here then, Beca." Beca nodded. "Great! I'm going to bed. It's late, so you both should go to sleep soon too."

"Alright Bree, goodnight!" Beca and I were quck to follow. I pulled her to my room and gave her a baggy sweatshirt to wear to bed. We curled up under the covers, facing each other, hands intertwined.

"So..." Beca's voice was a whisper. "What does this mean? I mean... For us?" Even in the dark I could tell she was blushing.

"It means... I love you too, Beca. So... Let's be together, okay?" She sighed happily and pulled me in closer to her. I fell asleep in her arms.

It's crazy to think that mere months ago, I was at rock bottom. But I guess when you're at that point, the only way to go is up, right? So that's where I went. I went up. And I am happier now than ever before.

**A/N: Sorry this took so long to write! This chapter was kind of hard... Please review! To Gryffin: ... this is Chloe's POV... **


	6. Happily Ever After

**A/N: Last chapter guys! Hope you like it! Reviews are appreciated!**

I squeezed Beca's hands tightly as we looked into each other's eyes.

"Do you, Beca Mitchell, take Chloe Beale to be your lawfully wedded wife?" I bit my lip.

"I do," Beca said without hesitation.

The pastor turned to me. "Do you, Chloe Beale, take Beca Mitchell to be your lawfully wedded wife?"

"I do." Beca and I smiled at each other.

"You may now kiss the... er... bride." We laughed. Our lips connected passionately.

* * *

Aubrey hugged me tightly. "Congratulations, Bug! You guys are perfect for each other. Seriously. Like usually, weddings suck. But this... this is perfect." She squeezed my arm and winked. "And the Nemo cake is a nice addition, I must say."

I giggled. "Actually, Bree... Beca picked it out."

"See," she was jumping up and down. "Point proven! Absolutely perfect!" _Yeah. Perfect._

Beca joined us, sliding up next to me with a plate full of cake. She held some out on her fork. "Chlo, this cake is really good!" I took a bite and nodded thoughtfully.

"Yeah but... got some cake on that frosting? Holy God, that's a lot." I choked on it.

Beca shrugged. "I like it." She paused for a moment. "I like sweet things." I glanced at her questioningly.

"Yeah?" _Wasn't that a given? I mean, everyone likes sweet things._

"Yeah," she confirmed. "Which explains why I like you so much." Beca winked playfully as a blush swept across my cheeks.

"God Chloe you're sick! I didn't mean like that!" She smirked as she dabbed cake on the tip of my nose.

I tipped the plate so that the cake spilled all over the front of her dress. She furrowed her brow. "Oh I'm sorry babe," I said sarcastically. Beca picked some of it off her dress and threw it towards me... But she missed and it hit her friend, Jesse.

"Why you little..." He flung his cake at her, and also missed. _Wow. Such great aim. _The party turned into an all out cake war.

Cake was everywhere. _Everywhere! _ Even Aubrey, who was a neat freak, was coated in a thick layer of the stuff. But she was smiling. Everyone was. All of the party guests were laughing and rolling around and were just covered in cake.

It was great.

Beca stood in front of me like a human shield. "Got dammit, Beale! Look what we've done!" I laughed at her feeble attempt to guard me from the cake that was flying in from all angles.

"It's alright babe, I got this." I gave her a quick kiss and ran up to the stage.

"ENOUGH," I roared above everyone. I took in the scene in front of me. There really was cake everywhere. "Look, now we have to clean all this up!" Everyone set to work scrubbing the frosting off of everything.

* * *

_Titanium Acoustic_ was playing over the speakers while Beca and I held each other close. Her head rested on my shoulder, her hands on my hips, we swayed gently back and forth. She sang along quietly.

I saw Aubrey dancing with Jesse somewhere. They were really hitting it off! It was nice to see her having some fun. Though she was plastered. I kind of wondered if Jesse was just holding her up, rather than dancing with her. I smiled at the thought.

Beca brought my attention back to her. "Hey, Chlo?" She had a small smile on her face. "You know that I love you, right?"

"Of course I do. I mean, we're married aren't we? I love you too, Becs." She held me tighter.

"So let's be together forever, okay? I want to spend the rest of my life with you, Chloe. I want to wake up every single day to your beautiful face. I want to grow old with you." I kissed her lightly.

"I want to spend the rest of my life with you too." Our kiss deepened.

"I love you, Chloe Beale."

* * *

My name is Chloe Beale, though you probably already gathered that. I suffered from an incredibly self destructive and scarring past.

My father died when I was two, and my mother when I was sixteen.

Sometimes life likes to tear you to shreds.

It rips you apart and scatters the pieces.

And then you think to yourself, _it's over. I'm done for. This is it._

That's not the case. Ever.

I once thought that.

I once thought that I couldn't feel. I once thought that my life was over. There was nothing more for me.

I'm here today.

I'm here to tell you that happy endings do exist, but they don't just fall into your lap.

You have to make your own future. You have to play with the cards you're dealt, whether they're Jokers or they're Aces.

For once in my life, my future was in my own control. I could do whatever I wanted.

I'm not going to waste my future being sad. I'm going to be happy and live every day to its fullest.

I'm going to spend the rest of my life with the people I love, and the people that make me happy. Because I know all too well just how short life can be.

If I die tomorrow, I'll die happily.

I have the best wife ever. I have the best friend in the world. I have a wonderful home that I'm safe in. I have a well paying job as a therapist, and can help people.

My mother used to take me to the ocean. We'd plan weeks in advance, and take the hour long car ride to the shores. It was the happiest I'd ever been, and I never thought I could be happier. I never allowed myself to be happier.

I'm convinced she was watching over me during my struggles. The years following her death were absolutely terrible. The wind shook me to my very bones and the rain relentlessly fell. The thunder boomed directly overhead and the lightning crackled across the sky.

But the sun came out again. The calm overpowered the mayhem. I'd overcome the battle. I had the scars to show it. They're a constant reminder of where I was, and where I will never be again.

I'm convinced she's watching over me now, too. At this very moment, she's smiling down at me and everything I've accomplished.

And I'm here to tell you that if you ever feel like picking up a razor and harming yourself, _don't._ Put it down. Look at everything you have. Read my story. It's possible to overcome your struggles. You just have to keep moving forward.

I will not let my past define who I am. The future lays ahead, and I'm ready for whatever it may hold.


End file.
